Wolf, Dog, Rat
by rosips
Summary: Remus' thoughts at the end of POA


See what you think, I'm not too sure, but this has been bugging me all week.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I make no money from this

Summary:Remus thoughts at the end of POA

**Wolf, Dog, Rat **

Sat in a train carriage I began to mull over the last week. The week when everything I knew was turned upside down, when dead men were brought to life, when traitors were proved innocent, when children were shown to be great wizards and a place of pain and suffering became a place for happiness and relief

It was the night of Buckbeats trial, I sat in my office looking at the map studying it, watching the dots moving round, remembering the excitement when we'd finally worked out how to make it work. It started off as a necessity, Sirius and James needed to know where everyone was so their pranks came off and weren't interrupted and I just grew so sick of listening their ever more outlandish ideas – one of which involved a whole army of house elves – that with a sigh I just suggested a map, the map, the marauders map. And so for the next four months we – mostly me – worked tirelessly to get the map created. As a mark of recognition that the original idea was mine, it was my name first on the front – Moony, followed by Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. And so a huge amount of undetected pranking and rule breaking ensued.

I nearly lost myself in memories, but sharply brought myself to. This wasn't about the map, it was about Harry. Harry was more like James than he would ever know and true to his fathers form, he snuck out. I watched him go down to Hagrids – no problems there then and I relaxed knowing he was safe. Again I allowed myself to wallow in memories, memories of smiles and laughter and four 15 year old boys with the world at their feet, friends forever, eternally bonded with comradeship and brotherhood. If only we knew what the future entailed.

I allowed a sigh to escape through my lips and then gave the map another look. Then another. How could he be there? How? But the main problem was – I could see by the figures on the map – dragging Ron through the entrance to the whomping willow. He was here. Sirius Black.

Without a word, without giving myself time to think, I grabbed my cloak, dashed through the corridors and sped along the well trod path down to the tree. Id left the map behind but there was no problem – I knew exactly where they were going, to the place of many of my worst nightmares and also, strangely, my happiest times. The thoughts rushing through my head were too numerous and muddled to be sorted properly but most centred around the idea that Sirius was back to claim Harry, and how on earth was Peter still alive. I must have met people along the way, but I remember nothing.

It was hard to enter the shrieking shack again and I admit I hesitated. However, the voices on the other side of the door urged me through it to see a sight I never thought I would. Harry Potter with his wand pointed at the throat of his father's best friend. Automatically I shouted the disarming curse, certain in the knowledge at least that James wouldn't want his son to become a murderer.

I glanced around the room then spoke the only words I could say 'where is he Sirius?' and followed his arm pointing at Ron, and yet not at Ron.

I spoke aloud the thoughts going round my head and slowly came to the only conclusion that seemed possible. It was Peter, not Sirius. Peter that betrayed Lily and James, Peter that sold them to Voldermort, Peter that was the mole, the leak, the traitor. Sirius was staring as deeply at me as I was at him and the old telepathic link that we Marauders used to have was back in play.

The relief and exhilaration that flooded through me when I finally knew the truth meant that I did the most natural thing and pulled my best friend, my pack mate into a hug. That hug said so much, im sorry for not believing you, im sorry I thought you were capable of such a deed, and im so glad to see you again and I forgive you, its past that's what friends do and a million other things that are so hard to explain. Nothing at that point existed except the two of us – until Hermione screamed.

This would take a lot of explaining, but before I could start she exposed me for what I am. A werewolf, one of the most hated creatures in the magical world. At this point, I went into automatic pilot, teacher mode it was known as way before I became one, calmly asking Hermione questions, inwardly marvelling at the understanding she had of my condition.

The only time the façade was under threat was when I naturally went to help Ron and he shouted at me to leave him alone and then he called me werewolf, not Professor Lupin, Lupin or even Remus, just werewolf. In one swift sentence he took away all the respect, all the humanness id strived so hard to achieve. I simply turned away and went back to questioning Hermione. My stomach sank when I realised that Snape's task had achieved its purpose, but I should have known that only Hermione would have the brains to work it out.

The next few minutes seemed like hours as I tried to explain to the trio of students in front of me that I wasn't dangerous, Sirius wasn't a murderer and Scabbers wasn't a rat. Sirius had to join in, I didn't know the details and I had to plead with him silently to complete the tail. It seemed he was slowly calming down, slowly becoming less Azkaban escapee and more Sirius Black, Marauder and great friend.

Even so when we forced Pettigrew to transform it was obvious what Sirius wanted to do and I had to grab his hand to stop him, I knew Harry wouldn't be happy with just hearing the truth from us; he'd want to hear it from the actual perpetrator. I let Sirius get on with questioning him, to be honest with you I was a little bit shocked and still processing the facts myself. I saw my job to just stop Sirius doing something stupid – just like it had been all those years ago, Remus the prefect trying to keep his friends in line. But after Sirius heartfelt line about how Peter should have died to protect James as we would have died to protect him, I knew Sirius was right and as one both our wand arms raised and id steeled myself to get rid of the traitor when Harry stopped us.

Looking back on it, Harry's decision was right, we made ourselves ready to go back to the castle and as we wandered down to the tunnel to the grounds again I realised that this was probably the happiest time id spent in my prison of choice. But the feelings didn't last long, coming out of the tunnel the moon shone full, bright and mocking and so happened one of the most awful painful and devastating transformations I have ever had.

I transformed through no choice of my own, Sirius transformed to protect the trio and Peter transformed to escape, and that is all I will allow myself to remember.

I got back to my room to find it as I had left it apart from the smoking goblet on the table. I had to adjust to the fact that I had nearly killed James' son and id lost Padfoot and the only chance of proving him innocent.

Sighing I knew that id reached the end of my teaching time, Snape had seen to that, and slowly, reluctantly, I began to pack my life into the trunks that held them. Harry came to see me, he didn't blame me, he begged me to stay, but I couldn't. Again teacher mode came to the rescue and I got him to tell me about his patronus, but couldn't resist telling him how proud his father would have been of him. It was painful sitting talking with James son about him, was something I needed more time to think about – my thoughts were still all over the place. I was almost glad when Dumbledore came to tell me my carriage was here. I needed time away but I was sure id meet Harry again and I told him so. I owed it to James and Lily to make sure the next generation of Marauders carried on our traditions and I started it in some point by giving the marauders map back to Harry

So here I am, on a train out of Hogsmeade, wondering where my next job will be, who will employ a werewolf, wondering where Sirius is and whether Peter made it back to Voldermort. Slowly the train's motion lulls me to sleep and my strangest school year ever comes to an end

**Thanks!! I realise there's no Snape in it, but I couldn't fit him in.**


End file.
